Ron White before he went Hollyqueer woke

Ron White:
So I flew in here to Phoenix from
Flagstaff because my manager doesn’t own a globe. He chartered one of
those small private jets. I flew here on a plane this big, it was like a
pack of gum with eight people in it.We were putzing along. We were
going half the speed of smell! We got passed by a kite! There was a
goose behind us and the pilot was yelling “Go around!” So about halfway
through the trip, we start losing oil pressure in one of the engines,
and the pilot says we have to turn around. It was a nine minute
flight.Couldn’t make it with that equipment. He came over the intercom
and said “Hey, we’re losing oil pressure in one of the engines,” which I
couldn’t understand why he did, because he could have just turned
around and said, “Hey, we’re losing oil pressure.” “heard’ja” Everyone
else started freaking out, but I had been drinking since lunchtime, so I
was like “Take it down! I don’t care! Make sure y you hit something
hard, ’cause I don’t want to limp away from this!” The guy next to me is
losing his mind. I guess he must have had something to “live for”. He
says, “Hey man, if one of the engines goes out, how far will the other
one take us?” I look at him. “All the way to the scene of the crash!
Which is pretty lucky, because that’s where we’re headed! I bet we beat
the paramedics by a good half hour! We’re haulin’ ass!”