Man’s Noisy Spider Battle Sparks Police Calls

A man’s noisy attempts to kill a spider caused his neighbours to call the police, reporting a suspected violent domestic incident.

Officers in Sydney went to the address after numerous calls were made claiming a woman could be heard screaming hysterically and a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, you’re dead. Die! Die!”

After police attended the address in the northern suburb of Wollstonecraft and started banging on the door, a man who was out of breath and flushed in the face answered.

In a post on the force’s Facebook page, New South Wales police said officers then questioned the man about who was in the apartment with him.

When he replied that he did not have a wife or girlfriend, police were perplexed.

Below is their transcript of the conversation that followed:

Police: We had a report of a domestic and a women screaming, where is she?

Male: I don’t know what you’re talking about, I live alone.

Police: Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.

Police: Come on mate, what have you done to her?

Male: It was a spider.

Police: Sorry??

Male: It was a spider, a really big one!!

Police: What about the woman screaming?

Male: Yeah sorry that was me, I really, really hate spiders.

What neighbours thought was a serious incidence of domestic violence was in fact the man chasing the arachnid around his home with a can of spider spray.

The police report concluded: “After a very long pause, some laughter and a quick look in the unit to make sure there was no injured party (apart from the spider) we left.”

The original here:

And I found the story thanks to WD Child blog:

You haven’t seen anything

There is only one thing in this life that can make me scream like I woman

I have faced down death a number of times

And while survival is important it did not arouse primal fear

When I was a bit younger I had somewhat of an adrenaline problem

I have hunted hogs with a knife

Caught alligators bare handed

Snake handled large rattlesnakes

I am fearless

A man’s man

Except when it comes to spiders

Then I am not even a woman’s man

In Florida we have a variety that will grow to 4″ in diameter

If that is not enough, they bulk up by letting thousands upon thousands of little tiny babies ride on them

You should have seen the time a couple of months ago when I bravely faced one down in the garage

In my underwear

Nothing makes you feel more like a warrior than being barefoot and in your underwear

Anyway, I see this abomination of nature out by the wash machine

It is the size of my lawn mower

I man up and approach it with a small block of 2″ X 4″ that I picked up

I try to slam it with the block and as I do the damn thing actually rears up and charges me

In bare feet

I smack at it with the two by and miss

Now a dark shadow starts to spread on the floor as like a hundred million spider babies dismount

I’m done


Larger weapons

Much larger weapons

Yeah, Mr. bug spray there has nothing on me



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