There’s nothing wrong with the neighbors….

There’s nothing wrong with the neighbors

That a few rounds

Won’t settle down

They are Mexicans after all

And understand the brutal language

Of the gun

They only laugh and get louder

Whenever the cops

Come around

But they know that the mix

Of gunsmoke and anger

Means

Turn the damn music down

Enough Fiesta

Night after night

Enough Tequila

Day after day

Don’t piss your neighbor off

Or the next one

Might come your way… Ole’

I got a laugh when I wrote the above . We had some Mexicams move in to the house kitty corner behind ours. For the first couple of months every thing was good, but then more and more people started to move in. Pretty soon it was a party around the clock and it wasn’t just weekends, it was 7 days a week.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against partying or having a good time; I am all for it in fact. I have nothing against Mexicans or their living arraingments. I do have a problem though, when the entire cast of characters from Tortilla flats moves in behind me and disrupts my quiet and simple life.

They wouldn’t have bothered me had not they played music 24 hrs. a day. The music had a deep base and penetrated our house and could be heard in every room. Even with the television on there was no respite as the underlying base could even then be heard. I would wake up at 2:00 A.M. on the other side of the house and hear the dull, THUD , THUD , THUD.

It was slowly starting to get into my head. I was starting to think of the heart beat in Edgar Allen Poes “The beating heart”. Day after day and night after night this went on until it started to reach the breaking point. Finally it came; the torrent was unleashed. In the end it wasn’t even the music that caused it; It was something entirely different.

There are two things in life that can really make things happen; A womens voice and a crying baby. Both of those things can bring a sense of urgency to a situation that will in the end prompt you to action, no matter what. Kiss it, put a bottle in it’s mouth , sweet talk it or kill whatevever frightens it; Either way, just make it happy again.

My wife is what you would call a homemaker or a housewife. She stays at home and takes care of things there while I go out and kill green backs to put in the bank. She is not only happy as such,but is proud of her position, making a home and comfort for her family.So anyway, she is being subjected to the Fiesta 24/7 and when she leaves the house, she doesn’t even want to come back because the incessant thrumming is slowly driving her insane.

Let me say this; I am not a call the cops or county kind of guy. I am an extremely polite person and believe that if it were not for rudeness, we would not have war. I believe in the freedom of all, but with that freedom comes the freedom to be left the hell alone. The music was quickly starting to crescendo . This had been going on for almost three months and some sort of resolution had to happen.

I started by leaving a polite note in their mailbox informing them that their music was bothering the neighborbors, to no avail. I went up to the fence and told them through the thick shrubs that they needed to turn the music down and they pretended to not speak English. I called the county and made a noise complaint and when the county rolled up to measure the decibels, thay turned the music off. I called the cops and when they showed up they were silent; when they left, they laughed and turned the music up louder; Three times

So here I am about as pissed off as I can be and my wife is demanding that I put a stop the whole situation. My only problem is that after the great speed bump war of ’99 I had vowed never to be the sheriff again. I vowed that I would let the law or someone else in the neighborhood do all the dirty work. (Don’t even ask) It involved crack dealers, the klan, swampbillies, about 20 of the most fucked up people in the world and me dug in with entrenchments, booby traps and heavy weapons in my yard.

I didn’t take this shit lightly as I had been through it before, but I reached my breaking point. The cops weren’t a 100 ft. from my house after telling us that they just had some family in town for the weekend and were having a little party. They were so sorry and would make sure to keep the noise down. Then the music went back on louder than ever, accompanied by laughter.

My wife is freaking out and I am headed to the back room. I grab an AMD 65 and storm out the back door and light 5 rounds off into the ground. I can smell burned powder , wet grass and damp earth. There is no more than 30Yds. between the neighbors and myself.Now everything is silent; the music is off and there is not even a whisper.

I don’t know if you are familar with an AMD 65 but it is a hungarian tank rifle. It is an AK clone and has a folding stock with a 12″ barrel. Trust me when I say that 4″ barrel cut makes a difference. This is the loudest rifle I have ever owned .They hate me when I go to the range.Even with hearing protection it gets painful after 3 or 4 hundred rounds.

So anyway, my blood is surging, my ears are ringing and in the silence I hear the cop car start backing up. I think to my self “Oh shit” and scrape my brass off the ground and go back into the house. The cops back up and park out in front of my house right at the end of the driveway. They sit there for 15 minutes and all I am thinking is “If you assholes did your job this wouldn’t have happened” In the end they decided for whatever reason to go on their way and I got my sanity and peace of mind back; the music finally and permanently stopped.

Rudeness sucks. I am a good friend and neighbor who is willing to give help when needed. Charity begins at home and your neighbors are the closest to your home. But if you take advantage of that by being rude and inconsiderate then I will return that 20 times over. I will take rude to a level you can never imagine.

BTW This current government is beginning to get quite rude towards me and I am starting to hear that familar beating heart again. … Caaiint we all just get along? No probably not. Assholes

13 responses to “There’s nothing wrong with the neighbors….

  1. Reblogged this on LadyRaven's Whisky In A Jar – OH! and commented:
    Actions speak louder than words. Get it America?

  2. i found it entertaining fucking well written and what you did. we have nigies (nigerians) here and it is the same problem. can i add that not all refugees are a fuckup as i have a congolese guy in my house and he is spotless if you want to laugh he shits on me over not putting the seat down or flushing,but we also have an immigrant problem

  3. 1wanderingtruthseeker

    I have the same problem with the Church next door to me. It is a tiny clap board house. They play their music on Sunday alllllll daaaaayyyyy looonnng. Practice on Monday nite until 11 or midnight. I asked them in a letter if they would lower the volume after my son hung himself. They just glared at me and turned it up. A great Christain church. They put the color of their skin in front of their love of God. I am white and the church membership is 100 percent black.

  4. I want you for neighbor.

  5. Sir, that was one of the most entertaining essays I’ve read in years. You have a new reader and contributor, (when I can-I promise I will). Your patience, class, and self-control are admirable. You did what you had to do to a bunch of pure Assholes.

  6. Bill Wallace, a Yankee apologist

    I’d probably take the rifle out and just use firecrackers for sound effects. But some people need special methods to learn what is socially acceptable. For special people special methods are required.

    • They are Bill. I am an exceptionally good neighbor. I take care of the old folks and the pastor next door. Most importantly I understand that we live right on top of each other and I can’t do whatever I damn well please without being a bother.

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